Hurt
by BottleOfPinkChampagne
Summary: I wish I didn't walk out the door. I should not have let him fall. I wish I got him back before it happened. I should not let either of us get hurt. Based off the song Hurt by Christina Aguilera. RATED T FOR SELF-HARM, SUICIDE, AND MILD CURSING.


_I felt like writing a one-shot today, so as one of my few ideas for a one-shot Bade fanfic, I wrote this one. _

**Word of warning: This includes suicide and self-harm. If you think you won't like that, or are depressed, I strongly suggested that you turn back now.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, because if I did, I would have better things to do then spend my time on Tumblr, or write fanfics.**

* * *

Jade was sitting on her bed, absentmindedly twirling the shiny silver pair of scissors Cat gave her for Christmas just a year ago.

Jade was thinking, Should I? I mean, it happened, and I guess I should return the favor now.

Even deep in her trance, she had a flashback of how it all happened, and why she was thinking this way.

* * *

"I'm tired of fighting." the tan handsome boy said in all honesty to his girlfriend, who was constantly fighting with him.

Jade turned around, and gave him a test of how much he truly loved her. "Ok, I'm going to walk out that door, and I'm gonna count to ten. If I get to ten and you're not out there, I'm going home, and we're over."

The black-haired girl opened the door, and started counting to ten. With every breath she toke saying the numbers, her regret and anxiety levels were rising slowly and slowly.

Jade heard a girl-Trina-jump onto Beck, so he couldn't reach the door. Jade waited til she heard the handle of the door being grasped to count counting to ten, but there weren't that many numbers left to say.

As she said the penultimate number, she started seriously thinking that she messed up, _really bad._

She somehow was able to say the final number out of her throat.

_No. _Was her first thought after she didn't see Beck's face appear, and the door opened wide to see her.

It was one of the most crushing moments Jade ever felt. The boy who said he loved her and would never let her go, and will always no matter how much of a freak she was, didn't open the door.

Jade started to go towards the door, but then she thought "_No, if Beck doesn't want me, he doesn't want me._", as she staggered back a little bit.

With tears starting to form into her eyes, she just walked away to her car, and drove straight home.

Later that evening, she tried so hard not to think of Beck, but it was almost impossible since he didn't open the door.

She seriously regretted walking out on him, and opening that damn door.

Jade noticed that she had the pair of scissors Cat gave her for Christmas in the palm of her right hand, and she became aware that there was a picture of Beck and her in front of her.

Jade angrily stabbed the Beck in the picture with her scissors, and left the scissor there for the night, to show that she doesn't care for him anymore. Even though she knew deep down she stilled cared for him, and no one would even see the scissors that scabbed the picture Beck.

* * *

About 3 months later, the girlfriend and boyfriend were acting different, and it was obvious.

Jade always seemed like she could hardly stay awake, barely being able to get the sleep she needed because that was all her brain could think about.

Jade wished she did not walk out on him, and put their love on the line, and they end up waking up the next day without each other.

But the raven-haired teen could not walk up to him and take a quick glance at the boy because she had a feeling he didn't want her anymore.

Like Jade, Beck always seemed tired, he looked like he didn't even care how he looked, and most importantly; he didn't even talk to, or get close to Jade at all.

But Beck regretted not opening the door, and staying with Jade. Sure she was difficult, but he loved that about her, and that was the fun part about dating her. In fact, that was all he could think about, it was Jade, Jade, and Jade. No one else, not Andre, or Robbie, or Cat, or even Tori! Just Jade. And it brought him so much pain in his heart.

But he just couldn't bring himself to talk to Jade, or look at her even, because he thought that Jade didn't want him anymore.

The pain in his soul was just too much for him to handle, and he decided to do it, but he wanted the raven-haired girl to watch it in her face so she could feel the pain he went through.

* * *

Jade was laying on her bed, when she heard her ringtone of Broken Glass play on her Pearphone, she grabbed the phone, and in the pitch dark blackness, the name was easy to read, Beck Oliver.

Jade decided to answer his call, maybe he finally had the ability to call her and get her back.

"Jade." she heard Beck's weary voice from the speakers of her phone.

Jade started to say "Beck, listen I am so-", before Beck interrupted her.

"Come to Glacier Cliff, now." he said and quickly hung up.

Jade let her hand fall onto the bed, and thought for a moment, Glacier Cliff? That's the same place me and Beck went on our first date.

The memory was about to flow into her head, but she stopped it, and walked out the door, and went to her car, started it up, and drove to the place where Beck wanted her to meet him.

What could he possibly want? Did he want her back? Or was it going to be the unthinkable?

Within 30 minutes, she went to Glacier Falls, she reach the place. So many memories she stopped from coming were wanting to flood her brain with guilt.

When she walked to the place where they had their first date, she noticed Beck standing on the edge of the cliff, looking at the bright full moon.

"Jade?" he asked without even turning to his former girlfriend.

"What is going on Beck? What do you want?" she asked him while she was mentally trying to restrain some memories of this place entering her brain, but a few somehow found their way into her head.

The memory of their 1 year anniversary, then them getting back together the night after they reunited, and for Valentines Day the following year, but the most vivid was oddly their first day.

They were in the 9th grade, they went out on a date to celebrate the end of boring school, and them going to Hollywood Arts to fulfill their dreams.

Jade stopped thinking of it, and focused on what was happening in front of her.

Beck turned, with coldblooded eyes, to Jade, and feeling a mix of emotions enter him; rage, sadness, and the strongest of them all, shame.

"I want you to just stand there, and watch me. This is what happens, when you leave me for 3 fucking months." he said, with anger at the end of his sentence.

Jade felt on odd emotion, fear, in her head. She felt her heart beating fast, her breathing going as faster as her heart would normally beat.

Jade gasped, and instantly ran, when she saw Beck hold out his arms, and let himself fall backwards off the cliff, into the bellows of the ocean.

Beck thought in all honestly, it wasn't bad, the wind was nice to feel, brushing up against his locks.

Before Beck hit the waves of the ocean, he whispered his final words. "I love you Jade."

He took a deep breath, and felt his body go through the Pacific Ocean, a loud sound blasting through the surrounding area.

Beck loved the feeling of being in the water, his body felt weightless as he sunk deeper into the sea.

He felt the salt water burn his eyes, slither through his eardrums, flow into his nose.

Beck started to feel dizzy, and felt himself lose consciousness for the last time.

Beck smiled, and he had his final thought, his and Jade's first kiss, as his body submerged into the depths of the ocean.

* * *

Jade could not believe what she saw, her old boyfriend just committed suicide by falling into the deep sea.

She suddenly felt a flashback find it's way into her mind, it was something similar to what happened in front of Jade's own 2 eyeballs.

"I want you to just sit there, and let me do things. This is what happens when you stay with me for a long time." past Beck, with shorter hair told the brown-haired Jade.

"What?" Jade's ninth grade self said.

Ninth grade Beck leaned forward, and kissed Jade on the lips. At first she wanted to push him away, but she actually loved it. She let herself kiss Beck Oliver, and they later agreed to start dating.

As the flashback ended, Jade looked where her dead boyfriend recently fell into. The splash from his impact was almost gone by now, but she knew that he was now in a better place, where he didn't need to worry about anything, and he would be happy.

Jade walked back to her black car, and silently drove back home.

* * *

Everything that had happened finished playing in her mind. She came to the realization that she was still sitting on her bed.

"What's the point anymore?!" Jade finally yelled, and threw a nearby picture of herself and Beck together that she stabbed when she and Beck broke up.

Jade realized what she did, and walked over to the picture, and picked it up.

The glass that protected the picture of them was broken, and Jade was the only one who looked like she was ok.

But that wasn't true.

She caused this mess to happen. She was the reason Beck killed himself. She destroyed it all.

"What's the point anymore?" Jade quietly said. It was now all over. There wasn't much left of her.

She and Beck were like a complete soul, without each other, neither of them would work together the way they should.

And if one was gone, permanently, the other should be gone as well.

Jade set the photo down beside her, and realized that she still was holding the scissors.

Jade mentally told everyone she knew what she wanted to tell them, but she wouldn't be able to.

Jade lied down flat on her back, raised the shiny pair of scissors, kinda of hypnotizing her even in the dark, and whispered her final words. "I love you Beck."

Jade brought the sharp end of the scissors to her stomach, the pain was intense, but she imagined this was how Beck felt like when he was dying.

She did the same thing 2 more times. The pain every time would get sharper and more intense, as her senses started to fade away from her.

The crimson liquid flowing faster on the floor of the room, and the color brighter on her scissors, she did one more attack, but to her heart.

This, was intense pain, it was like if you stubbed you toe, but only in the heart, and a billion times stronger.

Jade almost died immediately, but if you looked at her for a split second, you could have seen a smile, and a tear fall on her face, before her expression fell emotionless, and she went limb-forever.


End file.
